Purrfect Storm Weather Consulting

Category: Forecasts

  • Storm Chasing, but the Storm Is the Vacuum

    Storm Chasing, but the Storm Is the Vacuum

    At Purrfect Storm Weather Consulting, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    Our standard approach involves a seasonal outlook based on window real estate, followed by a barometer made of one irritated tail, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a Doppler map of the sunny spot is not a bug. It is the product.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Humidity and Fur Volume Explained

    Humidity and Fur Volume Explained

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a Doppler map of the sunny spot.

    Our standard approach involves a radar that only tracks laser dots, followed by a barometer made of one irritated tail, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The old guard prefers a Doppler map of the sunny spot. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.

  • Seven Day Outlook: Sun, Then a Slightly Different Sun

    Seven Day Outlook: Sun, Then a Slightly Different Sun

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Experts agree that a barometer made of one irritated tail is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    Our standard approach involves a barometer made of one irritated tail, followed by a radar that only tracks laser dots, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Low Pressure System Spotted Under the Bed

    Low Pressure System Spotted Under the Bed

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Experts agree that a barometer made of one irritated tail is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The old guard prefers a Doppler map of the sunny spot. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.